We stopped for lunch at Gator's, a lakefront Cajun grill in Eufaula, Oklahoma, on our way to the Ozark Mountains. The restaurant almost seemed normal from the parking lot except for two gigantic plastic palm trees, but inside it was a war zone with food and trash covering the floor like land mines. Almost an hour after the waitress took our order we were still waiting to be served, although Sam received a large glass of undrinkable water that was siphoned from the bottom of the local lake and I was floating on my fifth refill of ice tea. When our order finally showed up my burger was a lump of inedible charcoal that I flatly refused. Our waitress went to get the manager, and we walked out. Really, really fast. 412 Lakeshore Drive, Eufaula, OK 74432. Rating: F   We went to The Capital Grille for the first time last weekend and absolutely loved everything about this place ... friendly valet parking, top notch food in massive, Flintstone-sized portions, attentive service, lots of speedy iced tea refills, your choice of black or white cloth napkins and portraits of famous (and occasionally scary) dead Texans on the walls. If you play your cards right, you can get your waitress to walk you to the bathroom. We will definitely go back. 500 Crescent Court, Dallas, TX 75201. Rating: A+   Our repeat visit to Blue Mesa Grill last weekend for Sunday brunch was a mighty odd experience. Our teenage greeter/host, who was dazed and confused and having a really bad hair day, paraded us in large circles through the empty dining room for 10 minutes until he finally said, “Just sit anywhere you want.” Our waiter wasn’t any better. He dropped his tray on our table twice, didn’t refill our soft drinks and water, never cleared used dishes from our table and forgot to bring Sam his mimosa even after we asked twice. Even worse, there were zero serving spoons on the buffet. Once the spoons showed up the food was OK but not memorable (except for the guacamole); service was generally blecch. 5100 Beltline Road, Addison, TX 75240. Rating: C What an amazing surprise to discover a restaurant in Texas that doesn’t specialize in chicken-fried steak, deep-fried vegetables and meat loaf! The Atheneos Greek Cafe has a lot of really wonderful ethnic dishes that remind me of my past life in Chicago, which had a Greek Town to die for. Sam totally flipped out for the saganaki (flaming cheese), pictured at right, which is doused with brandy and set on fire tableside. Remember to lean away from the waiter or you won’t go home with any eyebrows. 1765 N. Town East Boulevard, Mesquite, Texas 75150. Rating: A It’s no secret that Sam is definitely a bigger sushi fan than me: he’s willing to ingest teeny wads of mysterious and unidentifiable raw things with day-glo fetal eels on top ... and I’m not. But if you’re searching for a swell spot in Dallas that specializes in attractive, all-you-can-eat uncooked Japanese fish, look no further than Tokyo One. They even have a few possibilities for unadventurous diners like me, such as tempura, udon noodles and mango ice cream. The restaurant is really clean with abundant decor, nice staff and strange parking. 4350 Belt Line Road, Addison, Texas 75001. Rating: A Every once in a while you have to treat yourself to a meal so amazingly special that you don’t even feel compelled to ask how much are the lobster tails. Last night Sam and I splurged on a culinary feast at Chamberlain’s Steak and Chop House in Dallas to celebrate the end of the best year of our lives. This was the first $300 meal I’ve ever eaten, and it was worth every penny ... from the first bite of our kobe steak pot stickers to the last sip of Sam’s Irish coffee. Food perfection. Great service. And the busboys have those cute little crumb scoopers in case you’re a slob. 5330 Belt Line Road, Dallas, Texas 75254. Rating: A+ Celebration is an extremely stupid restaurant. In business for more than 35 years with a fabulous, lodge-style decor and an extensive menu, our dinner here two weeks ago ranked somewhat below the cuisine at Kaiser Hospital. The food was boring, tasteless, unseasoned, sodium-free, poorly presented … and served at room temperature rather than hot. The only thing missing was a bedpan, but I think they let you bring your own. Ugly silverware, goony waitresses, stiff chairs. 4503 W. Lovers Lane, Dallas, Texas 75209. Rating: D Chan’s has reasonably-priced Chinese food with free delivery from multiple locations in Mesquite and nearby Garland. All four Chan’s restaurants actually have creepy decor with teeny tables and chairs that make dining in a challenge if you’re taller than 5'2", but the cuisine is surprisingly good and we order from Chan’s a lot. My favorites are Mongolian Beef and Spicy Szechwan Tofu with peas and carrots. The picture at right shows a Chan’s chef successfully setting himself ablaze. 4717 Gus Thomasson Road, Mesquite, Texas 75150. Rating: B+ We really love the food at Saltgrass Steakhouse. What we don’t love, though, are the weird events that happen every time we eat there. For example: 1) A stoned waiter named Ricky kept bumping his butt against Sam’s head while he was was taking an order from the table behind us. He had a little trouble reciting the salad dressings, too: “We have ranch, thousand island, ranch, mashed, fries and ranch.” 2) We were held prisoner last Sunday when the restaurant’s computer crashed and our waitress didn’t know how to add up our check so we could pay and get out. After half an hour Sam finally tackled the manager, who said, “It’s probably about $25.” On the plus side, though, Saltgrass has terrific decor and incredible Angus steaks and onion rings. 18680 LBJ Freeway, Mesquite, Texas 75150. Rating: B